Recently I had the opportunity to write a paper to submit to a newspaper. However I know that it will not be published as it is too long. I would need to cut it to a sixth of what I have written to have it be the acceptable length. Because I have felt strongly about my opinions for many years, to cut it even father than what I have would be to cut out the reasons why I think these thoughts are so important.
So with my assignment submitted and article already declined, I a putting my thoughts here.
While there are many things missing, this is at the heart if my thoughts.
Every person at one time was a child. In case you were wondering, this is fact. We have all grown up, or are in the process of growing, into responsible adults; thus contributing to the community, or at least that is the goal of our society. It is a long process and unfortunately, some do not completely get there. One possibility I have studied, has been little education in parenting and child development. I strongly feel that there is not a widespread epidemic of bad parents, but there are many parents who are uneducated in simple things they can do (or are already doing.)
Something to think about is how education works in our society. Think about all the things that have required education and tests. To drive a vehicle, we must take a course, test, and renew our proof of knowledge every few years. People spend thousands of hours and dollars on education that will lead to a career. There must be education for CPR, First Aide, gun safety, and even to prepare food, in which you must have proof of passing the tests. However, we bring life into the world without any requirements. There should be a higher priority on child rearing.
While I do not have children of my own, I have worked with children who have struggled for many years. I have also seen many parents give up anywhere from just a few minutes to many years thinking they just do not know what to do with their child. Frustrations come, but it seems for the general population they could decrease. The reason why? Many parents are already doing some of the most basic quality parenting practices, or could start today without much difficulty.
The biggest difference between children who do well in school and those who do not so well is communication with their parents. Parents who actually have conversations with their children instill a sense of identity and confidence in their children. Those children also have better social skills and do better academically (since they have so much experience with language and expressing themselves).
Surprising as it may seem, when most of the interaction with a child-parent relationship has a focus of comments like “clean your room”, “go outside”, “do your homework”, “it’s time for bed” communication, language and success is not a high priority for children. Sometimes this communication is all that happens without us realizing it.
When children have experiences that are positive, no matter how small, they will repeat the action to get the same result. One basic necessity in school is reading and can be among those positive experiences. Bedtime stories are great for increasing bonds between parent and child. In addition, the skill of reading is seeing how the marks on a page have a universal meaning. But what if parents work the night shift?
A good rule of thumb is to have a child read for 20 minutes every day. This could be anytime, anywhere. However, for the purpose of this article I will get more specific and even easier.
Something to think about is how education works in our society. Think about all the things that have required education and tests. To drive a vehicle, we must take a course, test, and renew our proof of knowledge every few years. People spend thousands of hours and dollars on education that will lead to a career. There must be education for CPR, First Aide, gun safety, and even to prepare food, in which you must have proof of passing the tests. However, we bring life into the world without any requirements. There should be a higher priority on child rearing.
While I do not have children of my own, I have worked with children who have struggled for many years. I have also seen many parents give up anywhere from just a few minutes to many years thinking they just do not know what to do with their child. Frustrations come, but it seems for the general population they could decrease. The reason why? Many parents are already doing some of the most basic quality parenting practices, or could start today without much difficulty.
The biggest difference between children who do well in school and those who do not so well is communication with their parents. Parents who actually have conversations with their children instill a sense of identity and confidence in their children. Those children also have better social skills and do better academically (since they have so much experience with language and expressing themselves).
Surprising as it may seem, when most of the interaction with a child-parent relationship has a focus of comments like “clean your room”, “go outside”, “do your homework”, “it’s time for bed” communication, language and success is not a high priority for children. Sometimes this communication is all that happens without us realizing it.
When children have experiences that are positive, no matter how small, they will repeat the action to get the same result. One basic necessity in school is reading and can be among those positive experiences. Bedtime stories are great for increasing bonds between parent and child. In addition, the skill of reading is seeing how the marks on a page have a universal meaning. But what if parents work the night shift?
A good rule of thumb is to have a child read for 20 minutes every day. This could be anytime, anywhere. However, for the purpose of this article I will get more specific and even easier.
I remember, as a child every day on the way home from school, or whenever the first interaction happened after school, my mother would ask me what my favorite part of the day was. For those few minutes, my experiences were the most important thing. At first, I did not have many good things to say. As the questions continued, I began to look forward to telling my favorite things. One result of this interaction was looking the whole day for something great to tell, which had an overall result in seeing life with optimism.
One question every day when it was convenient for my mother is all it took.
Another great and basic tool is music. Music helps children in self-expression in so many ways. They are able to move their bodies freely and be active to energetic music. One major element in music with children is a parent who is willing to sing with them. If a parent can teach and sing songs with their children, they can help with memory, creating bonds, and building self-esteem of both parent and child. A little side note about building self-esteem with singing is that no talent is required, just a level of excitement. This one act will build a child up so much, any parent can feel success to some degree in such a short interaction.
Understanding what is developmentally normal for a child is a huge help. Knowing what kind of books or toys would be best for their age or development level can relieve questions.
There are numerous ways to obtain this information, but again we are keeping things simple. Talking to a local librarian about books for the age of your child would be a great place to start with age appropriate reading. Going to the park on a weekly basis, playing games, or singing simple songs you enjoyed from childhood (or a simple internet search brings many wonderful children’s songs). There are endless possibilities in how to gain the skills of a simply great parent.
One foundational element in being a great parent is feeling competent as the mother or father of your child. While there are many possible avenues to reach this goal, the greatest parents show their children their love. As the parent, you know your child’s personality. You know so many more details about their life than any theorist could. Always remember your influential role.
In the end, the most important thing for a parent to do is recognize just a few things they are doing right. The little things go a long way. While I have given some suggestions, remember the end goal is really just about the child feeling that they have a secure love from the adult they trust.
Parenting is not an easy task. At times, these little people can be incredibly frustrating. However, few things can compare to the joy when a child shows their simple faith that with you by their side, they can conquer the world, or at least survive a scrapped knee.
There are numerous ways to obtain this information, but again we are keeping things simple. Talking to a local librarian about books for the age of your child would be a great place to start with age appropriate reading. Going to the park on a weekly basis, playing games, or singing simple songs you enjoyed from childhood (or a simple internet search brings many wonderful children’s songs). There are endless possibilities in how to gain the skills of a simply great parent.
One foundational element in being a great parent is feeling competent as the mother or father of your child. While there are many possible avenues to reach this goal, the greatest parents show their children their love. As the parent, you know your child’s personality. You know so many more details about their life than any theorist could. Always remember your influential role.
In the end, the most important thing for a parent to do is recognize just a few things they are doing right. The little things go a long way. While I have given some suggestions, remember the end goal is really just about the child feeling that they have a secure love from the adult they trust.
Parenting is not an easy task. At times, these little people can be incredibly frustrating. However, few things can compare to the joy when a child shows their simple faith that with you by their side, they can conquer the world, or at least survive a scrapped knee.
No comments:
Post a Comment