Lately I've watched this movie a few times with friends. I've also talked to others about dating, what it means, how to do it better, etc. While I've learned there are not many set rules, there are things that can be done better. While watching this movie last night, I started thinking about a few things. While it seems a slow and steady process, I'm gradually moving toward the direction of thinking there is great benefit in what prophets and apostles encourage us to do - not that I didn't before, it just hadn't sunk into my soul.
Little sweet Raymond had such a sweet heart, he talks to "his Evangeline" and has such faith in her. At one point he sings about his love for her. By the end of his song I have a secret hope that everything will work out, and they can be together - every time. Now granted, it's a give and take that is a little different. Some may even say that it's a one sided relationship. And if it weren't for the very end I would say that's very true. But looking at things a little more closely, he's happy. Every night she is shining brightly - and twinkling with his serenading. In the end, they are holding hands. He's happy and an example of looking at things with a bright hope.
Now, turning to Mamma Ody. She sings about digging deeper - and finding not what we want, but what we need. First she talks to Prince Naveen about money. She comments that it didn't make him happy before, why would it make him happy in the future? He needs to find purpose, and go at it with who he loves. Next she talks to Tiana. She starts by talking about why she's so focused on working toward getting her restaurant. Tiana's daddy had a lot of love in his heart, all the time. As his daughter, what he had, she has in her too. Working hard is great - and very important. However, Tiana was not living her life with joy because she was so focused on one thing. (Again - if she wasn't happy working hard all the time, would it make her happy once she owned a restaurant?)
I'm starting to think in the end all that truly matters is how we love. As much as we (or at least certainly me) don't want people to know deep into our souls, how can we truly progress? Maybe that's why I'm writing this on my blog where nobody usually wonders to. But really - to be able to do all in our power to bless and lift another who does the same; to know in our heart that we would be willing to do as much as possible to help another reach back to their Heavenly home as they want the same for you; to one day just be able to feel a deep sense of love and charity and wholeheartedly be able to tell that person your feelings - and not be something to think about; to be able to dance with someone and feel like the whole world around you disappears, all that's left is just you and this wonderful person who seems to be send from Heaven - and just adores you for who you are.
Personally I've seen many sides to relationships - I've even seen the side, frequently, of the belief that it just won't happen in this life.
I started to believe a few of the most important parts of dating are: Someday something will happen. It will be magical, and it will be well worth the wait and frustration. I also believe that avoidance only decreases ability. Being scared is normal. But to avoid because of inadequate skills only makes things worse. I'm certain I'm not the only one who has many people (from well known, to just met) tell me all the great things about me, that I have a lot of love to give, what kind of wonderful wife and mother I'll be, etc, etc. But in the end I've shocked many because I did not get engaged my first year in college, did go on a mission rather than get married, and on and on. In the end I'd started to think with everyone saying these things, and reality being so far from it...what in the world is wrong with me??
Probably numerous things. :) But I think the biggest hurdle is not having fear take over. Toward the beginning of this semester I had to write a goals paper. I had to come up with three different kinds of goals, and since I would be putting so much thought and effort into this paper, I wanted to come up with ones that would actually be helpful to my life. The year long goal: overcome my fear of dating. We just can't control what happens to us, but we can certainly choose how to respond and what we learn.
I'm still learning.
But I believe I'm improving.
