Today I wrote a six page paper subsequent to an interview on balancing work and family. In learning from this class, I've thought a lot about what it means to balance work and family relationships and be happy. I've noticed a lot of things all around me that testify of great relationships and how to be a part of them. From movies to friends, even in the process of buying a car I'm realizing how important it is to first think what it is you want - THEN move forward in the direction to achieve it. To quote the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland, "If you don't know where you're going, it doesn't matter where you end up!"

I knew so much of what I didn't want, that the hope of what I did want was hard to think could be reality.

I remember one sweet and beautiful couple in my mission. She was a long-time faithful member of the church, but he was not. He had met with the missionaries quite a bit and they always had them in their home for dinner at least once a month. Their son was a wonderful contributing member of the ward, but he was just closed to the idea of becoming a member. One day my companion and I had dinner in their home when he left the room for a while to take care of something. This sweet sister talked to us about how he just didn't think he was enough to make the kind of commitments in the church. She told us about how he was always so willing to serve anyone in anything, we saw how kind and wonderful a person he was, and he always supported her in all her church activities. The last thing she said until he came back was how every night she kneels beside the bed to say her prayers, he holds her hand in silence until she's finished.

At the time my thought was what an amazing person he was, there's no reason he should feel inadequate. The Holy Ghost would only bless his life, so it was sad that he couldn't see the greatness inside of him to put aside his concerns and just have the faith to move forward.

I didn't see, however, one incredible gospel truth about marriage until now. It's important to be moving forward in the same direction in a marriage. Generally speaking, they were. But even more important is the option to have differences of opinion and still love. I can only imagine how hard it would be to know I'm not sealed to my husband in this life. But there are a lot of things in this life that are hard. The fact of the matter is we do the best we can in this life. They were happy and loved each other so incredibly much, even before this story. After I realized that true love always goes deeper than what you can see from an outsider's perspective.

Once I had a class about church history that unfortunately I didn't get much from because I mostly went to feel a calm in my day - or I would frequently skip class to finish homework. But there was one comment that I've always come back to when thinking about those I date. He exhorted the sisters to find their Joseph and the brethren to find their Emma. He said to think about what this means to us and to always move in a direction to find them. Again, at the time I thought differently than I do now. This lesson really struck me and I committed to myself that I would do just that. I was looking for a person strong in testimony, charity, charisma, etc. Now, these are indeed very good things. But I think now this means a little more find a person who you know you both will always be there to support and lift one another. A person who you feel you want and can be your best self with because its easy to do so.

I know there are so many more things I just don't know about how to succeed in relationships. But I'm learning - which is really the whole point right?

I guess sometimes we are a little like the wonderful sister who does what is usually expected; and sometimes we are a little like the amazing brother who is not sure we can do what is asked, but support those who are trying - in the end we all just do the best we can, that's all that is asked of us anyway.